| Moose texts me at 4 30a.m.: | What did that guy with the boner say when he shat himself??
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| 4 31: | Sammi! Samm.
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| 4 35: | hey.
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| 4 35: | SAMM!
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| 4 36: | COME ON!
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| 4 37: | ......
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| 4 39: | WOMAN! I HAVE A JOKE!
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| 4 40: | Stop sleeping and answer me, whore.
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| 4 42: | MY GOD!
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| 4 43: | WHAT DID THE GUY WITH THE FUCKING BONER SAY WHEN HE FUCKING SHAT HIMSELF?
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| 4 48: | ANSWER ME!
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| 4 49: | I AM TRYING TO BE FUNNY HERE!
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| 4 52: | MY GOD!
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| 4 52: | NOW IT WON'T BE AS FUNNY!
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| 4 54: | Hello?
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| 4 55: | Whore!
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| 4 55: | Bitch.
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| 4 56: | Cunt.
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| 4 57: | assface.
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| 4 58: | butt licker!
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| 5 00: | Diva.
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| Me: | *wakes up* OH MY FUCKING GOD WHAT THE SHIT BALLS DO YOU WANT?!
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| Moose: | Why is it that you responded to "diva" of all things?
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| Me: | Because that's the one that fucking woke me. Now what the hell do you want?
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| Moose: | What did the guy with the boner say when he shat himself?
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| Me: | I don't fucking know. What DID he say?
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| Moose: | "That shit is in tents."
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| Moose: | K going out of range now bai.
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| Me: | Meaning you are turning your fucking phone of so I can't yell at you.
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| Moose: | exactly.
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| Me: | I hate you so much. |