Dreaming Wide Awake
I am both male and female. Call me what you wish.
I live in New York.
My dream is to make a living being a photographer.
I make art.
Hi. :3
twitter.com/Wild_Babies:
I'm fucking done with people.
| Me: | ....so I'm really sorry. But I cut again. |
| Friend: | when? |
| Me: | Just a few minutes ago. |
| Friend: | *sigh* Why? |
| Me: | Because I'm a worthless piece of shit and I fucking deserve it. Same reason every time. |
| Friend: | You're not a worthless piece of shit. Why do you always say that? |
| Me: | Because for as long as I can remember nearly everyone in my life has told me that I'm nothing and they've been put me down. |
| Friend: | You're not nothing. |
| Me: | But that's the thing. People ALWAYS give generic answers. "You're not worthless." "You're not pathetic." etc etc. But no one ever gives me real reasons as to why I'm not. No one ever tells me what it is about me that makes me a decent human being. And until that happens I can't believe that I'm anything better than shit. |
| Friend: | Oh just shut up already. I don't even fucking care anymore. Just kill yourself and be done with it. |
| Me: | Wow fuck you too. |
Seriously. She seems like such a cool person. I’d love to be able to hang out with her
My bestiest friend Greg does this all the time. (:
(via so-relatable)
You are amazing. You are beautiful. You are worth it. You are not alone.
I swear you are worth it. I’m here for you. I wish I could just give every person that is hurting a hug. The kind of hug that lets them know someone cares and someone believes in you.
Put down the blade. Put away the lighters and matches. Stop hurting yourselves. You don’t deserve. I don’t give a fuck what anyone has ever said that says otherwise. You deserve to be happy. You don’t deserve your pain.
If I could I would hug you so tight. Let you cry until you feel calm. Lord knows how many times I’ve needed someone to do that for me.
Look at yourself in the mirror. Don’t point out what you hate. focus on things you like. No matter what it is. If you like your left earlobe you PRAISE that ear lobe. Because it is part of the amazing and beautiful person that you are.
Step back from the ledge. flush those pills. put any kind of rope somewhere you can’t see it.
Because you deserve to keep breathing. You deserve to live a happy life. Believe me. I understand how hard life is. I’ve been to Hell and back quite a few times. It is by no means easy. But it is possible to get better. I’m not better yet. But I am trying. And it’s the hardest thing I’ve ever done. But all I think about is what I want most in life: to work for National Geographic and to have a family.
Focus on your dream. Work for it. Even if it is a little at a time. but make that dream a reality.
Don’t be ashamed to speak out for help. Don’t be ashamed of whatever it is that is hurting you. You don’t need to be. Too many of us are meant to feel like we are screwed up. But the thing is. Most of us are suffering. And we hide it. We need to stop hiding our pain. We need to step up and help each other. Because we can all make it through the pain.
You are worth it.
Please believe me.
You are so worth it.
I would love to get to know you.
I will make sure every single day that you know you are incredible and deserve the best of life.
If you need to talk to anyone, please come to me. You can speak anon or not. I usually don’t post it publicly if it isn’t anon. if you want to rant submit something and I won’t post it.
Just keep telling yourself you are worth it. You deserve happiness. You are beautiful. You are perfect.
http://nerdick-elk.tumblr.com/ask
Talk to me if you want.
I love all of you. <3
Then going to meet up with Gina at the mall. Possibly a movie and Coldstone? Yum.
Ugh I am so sad that she is leaving. ):
This is going to suck. =/
TAN! I KNOW YOU CAN’T SEE THIS BUT I DON’T CARE! I HOPE YOU AND BOYFACE ARRIVE SAFELY AND HAVE A FREAKING MARVELOUS TIME! YOU HAVE TO TELL ME EVERY. DAMN. DETAIL. WHEN YOU COME BACK. I AM SO JEALOUS!!! sdcikrejlds.
Gahh! Spending New Year’s in South Africa with Zuh…..lucky bitch. Umm. So. Yeah I know he is going to officially propose on this vacation. So yeah I expect all the details and If he got the ring yet I wanna see itttt. Unless he’s still saving for it then I demand to see the temporary one.
Umm Umm. Oh! I hate you for being able to swim with sea turtles. Like WTF! Stop doing shit I wanna do womanface! Umm I love you! And I love Zuh! But, let’s face it, I love you more. I hope you have an amazing vacation and all goes well! Damn I wish I could have said goodbye. I forgot how many countries you’re going to! TAKE PICTURES AND STUFF AND DON’T GET TOO TAN AND HAVE FUN AND BE SAFE AND GET ENGAGED AND CRY WHEN HE ASKS AND UMM STUFFS YEAH!
LOVE YOU!
Excuse me while I continue to fall over in such excitement for you. Now I have to wait TWO WEEKS for you to be home.
Best way to get a blowjob according to Mick. O_O
| Mick: | And THAT's how you get a girl to suck your dick! |
| Me: | ....umm. |
| Mick: | FUCK! |
| Me: | yeah. |
| Mick: | ...wrong chat.. |
| Me: | I figured this much. |
| Mick: | ....umm....awkward.. |
| Me: | ....How DO you get a girl to suck your dick? |
| Mick: | Shut. Up. |
| Me: | I'm a bitch and you know I need to know now. So. Tell me. What is your secret? |
| Mick: | ....Let me start by saying I was messing with a friend who is really desperate. |
| Me: | Oh god. Okay. TELL ME! |
| Mick: | .....You put some vanilla extract on your dick... |
| Me: | ...Please tell me they didn't believe you. |
| Mick: | He's on webcam in his kitchen....and he's looking through his cabinets. |
| Me: | sdkjfetberidfs;kdjnxewjdslknxe dscvxkj terfd |
| Me: | I. Love. You. |
Death has been our truest friend.
Just another life I have wasted.
Death is so close I can almost taste it."
I’m terrified to tell her about the cutting and to show her….I might not. I don’t know. Scared as fuck right now…..
But on the plus side….we are having our Ryan Gosling marathon on Thursday. I think I have….10? movies. (:
Day 628 by Cheap Photos on Flickr.
Meaning I wear socks and slide across smooth surfaces. My type of flooring isn’t the BEST for it. BUT if I go to Gina’s I can do it in her upper hallway and jump the steps if I get good enough at it. Knowing me I’ll break an arm, both legs, and need several stitches. But I do know it will be AWESOME and that I get ALL the kisses if I get hurt. ^.^ Haha
Christmas Eve Sock Surfing. I approve.
The mall with Gregorioooooooooooooo. Ahh I’ve missed him so so so sooooooooo much! I will tackle that boy with such hugs. <3
We are going to brave the mall. Possibly going to heckle the twilight movie then ice cream. Might get my lip pierced while I’m out. (:
I love our relationship. ^_^ He was reading about honeycombs and I was bored and wanted him to be horny. Hehe. He is rather adorable when he is horny. ^_^ I am semi evil if I say so myself. And I guess my words were successful. Time to enjoy his adorableness! :D!
Yes, I can be blunt (obviously) and no, I am not ashamed in anyway. So if you’re judging me go find yourself an exit. (: